Kapow!

Legend has it that there was a warrior so strong, that if he were to just stare long enough at an enemy, that enemy would disintegrate into nothingness. That warrior's name was AJ. AJ was the ruler of the land; he was yellow, Asian, and tall. Being the ruler of "Actuaria", he made sure that any enemies that would invade his country pay the hefty price of death.

However, there was also another master warrior by the name of Feldblum. As legend has it, Feldblum had the strength of a thousand horses built into one (just like the one in Troy). He could harness the power of the wind, and at his mercy use Jedi mind tricks to fool his enemies. He was greedy, intolerant, and had the thirst to kill 70% of people who trespassed his territory.

One day, Feldblum decided that his cult of minions were strong enough to overtake Actuaria. Feldblum and his minions grew stronger by each day.

A "negotiator" was sent to Actuaria, demanding that AJ give up his power and land. And that all 1000 of his hottest concubines be given to Feldblum and stamped with Feldblum's infamous logo that looked like a "WC" symbol.

The negotiations failed, and Feldblum sent a bunch of his strongest warriors to destroy Actuaria. Feldblum went together with his minions to the battlefield himself.

But little did Feldblum know that AJ was already at the front of the Great Wall of BA 2 Plus - the gate that guarded Actuaria.

The fight began...

With one round house kick AJ took out 5 enemies. **round house kick** "Die!!! wuppaaaa!!". Nyce, CAS SOP, McClenahan, Bouska, and ASOP number 13 were sent flying.

Then, he hardened his fists, and gave Jones one good punch into his stomach. The punch was so strong, that it went through Jones, Schofield, Werner, Boor and Palmer. All of them died instantly. Blood gushing out as if a volcano erupted in their stomachs.

Before any of the enemies knew it, AJ had already leap into the air. On his way down he did the Buddha Fist magic attack, exactly like the one in that Stephen Chow movie, and Brown, Finger, Myhr, Anderson, Kelley, Walters, Flitner, Graves, Marker, Moncher, Prevosto, Sherwood, Bourdon and Wiening were pummeled into the ground. They never say the day light again.

Everyone of Feldblum's underlings were turned into a speck of dust in no time. Alas, Feldblum was the only one left.

To be continued....

Of fussiness and customer service

The customer service is impeccable over here. If you don't like something that you bought, or you just believe that the product you purchased doesn't live up to the hype or standards, you can just return your item. When you return your item, some of the shops might ask as to why you are returning their product, but even if they did, they would ask in such a nice way to not offend you.

Different scenario, this actually happened in Petaling Street. My brother saw a guy from Taiwan who had just purchased a bootleg/haram DVD. Upon inspection of that DVD, he noticed that the bottom of it had some scratches that might affect the viewing quality (not that he should expect much viewing quality from a bootleg DVD) - so he decided to return it. But the Taiwanese made one fatal error, he already gave the dealer his cash. The Taiwanese argued that he wanted his money back while the dealer wanted to give the Taiwanese a different DVD. Their argument escalated, and soon enough the dealer was already out of his stall, preparing for a fist fight to ensure.

What happened to the Taiwanese guy? I dunno. My brother couldn't care less and had left the place.

Scenario two, I go to a fast food joint where you can choose your sides. A guy who was in line before me ordered two bowls of dishes. While ordering, he asked that "extra black beans" be placed in the second bowl, which was for his wife. The server placed in two giant scoops of black beans into that plate as ordered. But the guy who is married to the "wife that loves black beans" knew better, he asked that an additional scoop be added. So the server placed in another giant scoop. While still in line the wife jumps in. She takes a look at her plate, and as you may imagine how my story would go, she asks,"can I have one more scoop of black beans?". The server adds another scoop for the lady.

Seeing this I accidentally laugh cause I was thinking that this girl must love her black beans and that her husband knows it. She took it the wrong way though and decided to give me the "stare".

Like ooooo I'm so scared. Lady, I have a buzzcut. And I'm Asian. Your husband must think I know kung-fu. So back off.

Bear vs Tiger

Recently I've been looking at all these National Geographic videos on youtube. I'm not doing any kind of research. I'm just curious on how other animals besides us humans live - how they interact, how they kill their prey, what unique characteristics do they have and so forth.

I've been trying to find a video of a bear vs a tiger. But I couldn't find anyone of those. Who do you think would win? My money would have to go to the bear. I hear they have a huge bitch slap that would knock any living thing down. Whether the bear's bitch slap is stronger than my wife's bitch slap... I dunno. They pretty much equal each other. Or at least cancel each other out.

After searching numerous videos - "Bear vs Tiger", "Most poisonous animal", "Loudest animal", "Grizzly bear", "Polar Bear", "Python", "Zebra vs Tiger", "Gorillas", "Top ten most dangerous animals"... and so many more searches...

I found one that interested me:



This animal reminds me of Street Fighter (the game). Tiger Uppercut!!!

The War on Actuarial Exams

How come every time I see someone post some lyrics on their blog or on their facebook profile it would be lyrics of some chick flick song?

To counter those people, I'm going to post the lyrics for a song I imagine inside my head every time I prepare for my actuarial exams. I'll attach a video too.



"Till I Collapse"
(feat. Nate Dogg)

[Intro:]
'Cause sometimes you feel tired,
feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

[B/W Intro:]
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left

[Verse #1:]
Till I collapse I’m spilling these raps long as you feel em
Till the day that I drop you'll never say that I'm not killing them
Cause when I am not then I am stop pinning them
And I am not hip-hop and I’m just not Eminem.
Subliminal thoughts when I'm stop sending them women are caught in webs spin and hauk venom
Adrenaline shots of penicillin could not get the illing to stop.
Amoxacilin is just not real enough.
The criminal cop killing hip-hop filling minimal swap to cop millions of Pac listeners.
Your coming with me, feel it or not you’re gonna fear it like I showed you the spirit of god lives in us.
You hear it a lot, lyrics the shock is it a miracle or am I just a product of pop fizzing up.
For shizzle my whizzle this is the plot listen up you bizzles forgot slizzle does not give a fuck.

[Chorus - NateDogg]
Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out - am I high? Perhaps
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.
Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out and my high burn out
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.

[Verse #2:]
Music is like magic there’s a certain feeling you get when your real
and you spit and people are feeling your shit.
This is your moment and every single minute you spend trying to hold onto it
cause you may never get it again.
So while you’re in it try to get as much shit as you can
and when your run is over just admit when its at its end.
Cause I'm at the end of my wits with half this shit that gets in.
I got a list here's the order of my list that it's in.
It goes, Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie, Andre from Outcast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me.
But in this industry I'm the cause of a lot of envy, so when I’m not put on this list the shit does not offend me.
That's why you see me walk around like nothing's bothering me.
Even though half you people got a fucking problem with me.
You hate it but you know respect you’ve got to give me
The press's wet dream like Bobby and Whitney. Nate hit me.

[Chorus - NateDogg]

[Verse #3:]
Soon as a verse starts I eat it at MC’s heart
what is he thinking? How not to go against me? Smart.
And its absurd how people hang on every word.
I’ll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I’ll never be served my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first.
Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse.
That’s why I’m clever when I put together every verse
My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I’m an addict
I rap like I’m addicted to smack like I’m Kim Mathers.
But I don’t want to go forth and back in constant battles
The fact is I would rather sit back and bomb some rappers.
So this is like a full blown attack I’m launching at them
The track is on some battling raps who want some static
Cause I don’t really think that the fact that I’m Slim matters
A plaque of platinum status is whack if I'm not the baddest.

[Chorus - NateDogg]

[Outro:]
[Eminem & Natedogg Echo:]
Until the roof
The roof comes off
Until my legs
give out from underneath me

[Eminem:]
I will not fall,
I will stand tall,
Feels like no one could beat me.

Night time...

It's 10pm here at the office. You'd think I'd be alone in this cubicle now while all the corridor lights are switched off. But you are wrong. Everyone else in my division (casualty) is still here as well. There will be no scenes from the "Grudge" where I get stalked by a ghost and get murdered under my sheets going to happen.

When I went down to the U of I to promote my company I told the students there that my company had the most motivated and intelligent people in the business. I'm sure some of the students were thinking,"He's from that company, so he has to sing the praises for it". They are wrong. They have no idea.

The people here are extremely motivated. One of the guys in the office can stay here on a Sunday from 9am to 11pm just studying exam materials. He would go out from the room to eat and occasionally take a 5 minute break surfing the web, but then he'd go right back into the "danger room" and start revising material. We call him "the machine" in the office. Well deserved nickname. I imagine he changes oil from the socket behind his neck, yet I have been unable to verify that.

Don't even get me started on how smart the people here are. The Casualty office here has one of the highest passing rates in the CAS exams. And don't get me started on how hard those exams are. Maybe the exams are not that hard, as claimed by my brother who has never taken an actuarial exam. He's smart. And he could pass these exams with half of the effort that I go through.

I feel inadequate.

But.

I'm happy to be in the company of such great people.

One more thing

How come I didn't get the American accent "Adam" and Adam Ariffin got it? Like really? Just so you guys know my mom calls me "Adam" the American accent way all the time. Since I was small in fact.

Poyo la plak kalau panggil aku "Adam" gaya Mat Sallehs. Nevermind.

Time off

My brains dead and I won't be able to write until after my exams - May 13th. It just happens to be that my exam day is on the bloody day that racial hatred in Malaysia reached its peak. That must be a bad coincidence. Anyways, I've been going back from the office at 10pm almost everyday now. And I'm at the office on Saturday and Sunday too. I haven't started studying seriously until last week, so please God tell me I still have time to pass this exam.

Need time off.

Read my buddies' blogs in the meantime people:

Yang Penting Rupa
Little Miss-at-large
Et-Cetra

No beef with BN or the government

With the rise of racism ("coincidentally" with the rise of PKR) and the uncertainty of the economy, people are more involved within Malaysian politics these days. Some of us think that what we have right now isn't sufficient, that the democracy we have right now is a joke, and that another party should rule our country. Evidently, people are entitled to their own opinions, and we should all respect that.

There are tremendous amounts of reasons for people not to support BN. Especially with the Ketua Pemuda UMNO who looks like a penyamun and all the dirty political money being stolen within the government ranks. The UMNO putras are untalented brats who have yet to achieve anything for our country yet they drive in expensive cars and have a stuck up demeanor. On top of that, BN delegates blaze their horns when they reach "kampungs" to canvas for votes. Makin sombong nampak.

But, and this is a big BUT, I really don't have any beef with BN and the government. You know why? Cause governments are not supposed to be efficient in the first place. Anybody who has studied an ounce of economics, sociology, or history knows that. You shouldn't expect much from the government. Or should we?

Some things that the government has to take care of should be better dealt with, for instance the safety of the citizens. Cops need to be fed better.

When it comes to education, I think the government is doing pretty average.

How about transportation? I think the transportation is good in Malaysia. We could add some rails and roads here and there but the transportation in Malaysia really isn't that bad.

Let me think, are the people of Malaysia fed well? Tepuk dada tanye perut la. It seems to me that Malaysians are not hungry. In fact, they are becoming more and more over weight in general.

I'm going to share with you guys a little bit of my life story so you guys can understand why I have no beef with the government:

I grew up in Bandar Baru Bangi, Selangor. My parents are not rich people. They are educated people I will admit, but my family isn't rich. When I was 15 I had the opportunity to study in MRSM Langkawi. The fees for the education over there was free. I didn't have good food to eat in Langkawi, but I was fed. Dorms to live in were provided. I could also wash my clothes at the 'dobi' for free too. Over my two year stint at MRSM Langkawi, for the first time in my life I had the guts to ask a girl to be my gf, and she ended up being my wife.

I got into MRSM Langkawi because of the government. Who knows who I would have ended up with in life if it weren't for MRSM Langkawi.

Then, I went to study outside Malaysia. I didn't get a scholarship from a company cause I probably wasn't good enough. I don't mind. But who comes to save the day? The government. MARA offered me a scholarship to continue my tertirary education. Not only did they give me a scholarship to study in university, both of my brothers were government sponsored university students as well.

It doesn't end there. My cousins (Aunty Bibah's children) - Halina, Hamizah, Arif and Amir are all going to be doctors. All four of them are government scholarship recipients.

Governments are not supposed to be efficient right? Government is corrupt right? Honestly, I can't say that. I don't know if PKR would make a better government or if DAP would make a better government. But I know that under the BN government I was given plenty of opportunities to expand my capabilities and be a better person.

That's why I have no beef with BN. If you guys have beef, I'm not with you. Sorry.

Results

Race Results for AJ

Next race will be the JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge on May 21st

Till then

I am Runner

So tomorrow morning I'll be running the 5k race in Champaign and Urbana, IL. All these "Mat Sallehs" are so strong and determined when they run. I don't know if I'll be able to go into the top ten 10% as I initially planned... but who knows. Teringat aku dulu kat Jalan 3 when I had the stamina of a Kenyan runner, now all I have is 168 pounds of dead weight and the "all talk no show" facade I portray in the office.

I just came back from the sports center here at the U of I to collect my shirt and my chip. The chip will track how fast I go and how much time it'll take for me to complete my 5k race. There's supposed to be 10,000 people running tomorrow. All of them in various events - marathon, half marathon, relay, 5k, youth. I didn't actually count how many were running in the 5k, I'm assuming around 1500 to 2000 people.

The guys in the office say I won't be able to complete 5k in under 30 minutes. Haha. Time to prove them wrong :)

When your computer dies

I feel so handicapped without my pc. Like really... did my PC just stop working on me? The PC that I built say around 3 years ago? That PC had an AMD Athlon FX-55. Do you know how powerful an AMD Athlon FX-55 used to be? It was one of the most badass computer processors of its generation. Of course, that generation was 3 years ago.

What am I supposed to do when I get back home? (right now I'm in the office). Watch TV? Ngaaaa I don't wanna watch TV. I want my damn PC. Ngaaaaa.

My friend Vasan said that people back in the day, people who didn't have a TV or a PC, what they would do is just procreate.

Sigh*