Back in the day

I don't believe in evolution. I believe in creation. *An imam pops out and says : MasyaAllah brother Alhamdulillah!*. Haha.

Now wait a minute, I didn't say I rejected evolution did I? Just because I agree with something doesn't mean I have to disagree with something else. When it comes to evolution, I don't believe that my ancestors were monkeys, apes, gorillas, orang-utans or any of that kind. To even think that my ancestors were once that hairy is inconceivable by me. Let's be honest, we all know that Chinese people barely have (if any) facial hair.

But there are some theories in evolution that I do believe in. I had a conversation with a friend of mine while we were jogging and he pointed out a lot of interesting theories. He asked me this question - Why do you think people are afraid of heights? I told him I don't know. All I know is that when I'm high above the ground and I look down my balls start to giggle. He then said, according to evolution, people back in the day would like climb trees to get food and fall down and would freaking die. So, evolution's theory of survival of the fittest kicked into human society and made us be afraid of heights so we would survive.

So I was like OK that makes sense. Then he asked me another question - Why do you think people are so afraid of public speaking? This time before I could make up a silly answer he said,"Well try to imagine a gathering amongst cavemen in a circle. If you were to publicly speak from your ass, you would embarrass yourself and no woman would want to procreate* with you".

After that sentence I was like God damn this does makes sense. The theory of evolution about monkeys is plain stupid, but the theory about survival of the fittest is probably the greatest theory I've ever heard.

Of course, then I started to imagine about how life would be like if I lived in the stone age. Things didn't seem so bright. Damn right gloomy if you asked me. Back then human society must have been like a pack of lions. The biggest baddest mofos would rule the society. People with thin arms and legs like me (I'm going to the gym now mind you) would be gathering fruits on a daily basis. To add insult, when the tribe chief would come back from a hunting expedition I would have to massage his back. I would end up marrying the ugliest woman in the tribe, everytime I'd try to speak amongst the tribe another person would shout out "hey massage-man, you have no say here. Go massage my goat at the back ok?", I'd be gathering fruits that I won't be able to eat myself, and my children would end up being a masseuse like their dad.

But nope. Evolution kicked in my friends. People became smarter and taller. Computers are everywhere. And I so happen to type pretty darn fast if I may say so myself.

Thanks Darwin :)

*I would have used the word "Get laid"