shit. Yes. Life is like doodoo crap. When your daddy told you that you could do anything in the world if you put your heart and mind to it he was lying. In fact, that statement is probably the gayest shit I've ever heard.
There are impossible things in life. For example, I will never be able to become a great musician, perform open heart surgery, breakdance, win Malaysian Idol (akademi fantasia mampu kot), complete a marathon...
Say what? Yep, I will never be able to complete a marathon. I thought I could, with all the daddy talks I've been thrown at in my life I thought the simple inspiration by itself would "enable" me to run a marathon and win a medal (they give medals to everyone who completes a marathon). But nope, that will never happen.
I ran three miles on the threadmill today. I wasn't tired or exhausted or gasping for air, but my left leg felt like it was filled with blood and pressure. Alast, I had to stop. Stopping after only three pathetic miles is depressing. Stopping after only three miles, and now trying to study but I really can't cause I hate the very thought of studying is pathetic.
I want to go back to junior high school. I miss those times. Aaaaaa. I want my mommy.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Another entree
I recently purchased an old school Nikon FE manual focus film camera for a cheap price. It was my first purchase on Ebay. Trying to outbid someone else looking for a bargain is super intense. I think I can understand why people get addicted to Ebay now.
Giraffapig
You like yourself in the mirror don't you? I know you do. There's no wind gushing in the room, so you brush your hair from side to side to simulate your hair in it. Yes that's it, the perfect image. You look at yourself in the mirror, nobodies watching, and then you put on that small smirk, slowly... slowly... nope it's not a simple smirk anymore, it's a full blown smile now. At the same time you're thinking to yourself - damn I'm a sexy bitch!.
But the question is, how will people notice you?
Then you go to your laptop. First website to visit? Facebook... duhhh. "I wonder if people are looking at my profile! I have to update my status so people can know what I'm doing right now!". And while you're at it you notice that it isn't good enough that you update your status so that everyone can see. Nope, not even close. "I know what to do!", you think to yourself. Yep, you do what every other vain person does, you write your status IN BIG BLOCK LETTERS SO IT GIVES OUT A SHOUTING TONE.
You are so popular.
Having your pics out there with your pouting mouth, picture taken of yourself by extending your arms and pointing to yourself with your own camera, writing on your own wall, updating your profile picture every one hour, tagging your friends in a picture that you look good in but everyone else looks like doodoo... and on top of that?
Notes!
25 random things about myself:
1. I am a very very clean person.
2. I love cats.
3. I love eating sushi.
4. I am actually quiet in the outside but very deep in the inside.
.
.
.
.
.
************************************************************************************
I think I hate facebook. Yet why am I still in it?
But the question is, how will people notice you?
Then you go to your laptop. First website to visit? Facebook... duhhh. "I wonder if people are looking at my profile! I have to update my status so people can know what I'm doing right now!". And while you're at it you notice that it isn't good enough that you update your status so that everyone can see. Nope, not even close. "I know what to do!", you think to yourself. Yep, you do what every other vain person does, you write your status IN BIG BLOCK LETTERS SO IT GIVES OUT A SHOUTING TONE.
You are so popular.
Having your pics out there with your pouting mouth, picture taken of yourself by extending your arms and pointing to yourself with your own camera, writing on your own wall, updating your profile picture every one hour, tagging your friends in a picture that you look good in but everyone else looks like doodoo... and on top of that?
Notes!
25 random things about myself:
1. I am a very very clean person.
2. I love cats.
3. I love eating sushi.
4. I am actually quiet in the outside but very deep in the inside.
.
.
.
.
.
************************************************************************************
I think I hate facebook. Yet why am I still in it?
Monday, February 16, 2009
Operation Avalanche
Operation Avalanche has proved to be successful. Here are the initial reports.
Status:
In operation
Methods:
Lied to Shikin about going to a meeting down in Missouri
Actually took a direct flight to England
Bought flowers
Asked receptionist to ask Shikin to come to the reception to obtain her flowers
Surprise her from behind
Reasons:
Shikin calls everyday - Not lying would prove to be hazardous and would fault the operation
It was Valentine's Day (Not that we celebrated it before)
First time venturing to England without notifying
Results:
Shikin had no idea. Seriously but pleasantly shocked.
Saham naik
Additional Notes:
Sorry Vasan and Sze Yin. I want to visit you guys really bad but I'm only here for three days and you guys are working. My bad.
Status:
In operation
Methods:
Lied to Shikin about going to a meeting down in Missouri
Actually took a direct flight to England
Bought flowers
Asked receptionist to ask Shikin to come to the reception to obtain her flowers
Surprise her from behind
Reasons:
Shikin calls everyday - Not lying would prove to be hazardous and would fault the operation
It was Valentine's Day (Not that we celebrated it before)
First time venturing to England without notifying
Results:
Shikin had no idea. Seriously but pleasantly shocked.
Saham naik
Additional Notes:
Sorry Vasan and Sze Yin. I want to visit you guys really bad but I'm only here for three days and you guys are working. My bad.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Back in the day
I don't believe in evolution. I believe in creation. *An imam pops out and says : MasyaAllah brother Alhamdulillah!*. Haha.
Now wait a minute, I didn't say I rejected evolution did I? Just because I agree with something doesn't mean I have to disagree with something else. When it comes to evolution, I don't believe that my ancestors were monkeys, apes, gorillas, orang-utans or any of that kind. To even think that my ancestors were once that hairy is inconceivable by me. Let's be honest, we all know that Chinese people barely have (if any) facial hair.
But there are some theories in evolution that I do believe in. I had a conversation with a friend of mine while we were jogging and he pointed out a lot of interesting theories. He asked me this question - Why do you think people are afraid of heights? I told him I don't know. All I know is that when I'm high above the ground and I look down my balls start to giggle. He then said, according to evolution, people back in the day would like climb trees to get food and fall down and would freaking die. So, evolution's theory of survival of the fittest kicked into human society and made us be afraid of heights so we would survive.
So I was like OK that makes sense. Then he asked me another question - Why do you think people are so afraid of public speaking? This time before I could make up a silly answer he said,"Well try to imagine a gathering amongst cavemen in a circle. If you were to publicly speak from your ass, you would embarrass yourself and no woman would want to procreate* with you".
After that sentence I was like God damn this does makes sense. The theory of evolution about monkeys is plain stupid, but the theory about survival of the fittest is probably the greatest theory I've ever heard.
Of course, then I started to imagine about how life would be like if I lived in the stone age. Things didn't seem so bright. Damn right gloomy if you asked me. Back then human society must have been like a pack of lions. The biggest baddest mofos would rule the society. People with thin arms and legs like me (I'm going to the gym now mind you) would be gathering fruits on a daily basis. To add insult, when the tribe chief would come back from a hunting expedition I would have to massage his back. I would end up marrying the ugliest woman in the tribe, everytime I'd try to speak amongst the tribe another person would shout out "hey massage-man, you have no say here. Go massage my goat at the back ok?", I'd be gathering fruits that I won't be able to eat myself, and my children would end up being a masseuse like their dad.
But nope. Evolution kicked in my friends. People became smarter and taller. Computers are everywhere. And I so happen to type pretty darn fast if I may say so myself.
Thanks Darwin :)
*I would have used the word "Get laid"
Now wait a minute, I didn't say I rejected evolution did I? Just because I agree with something doesn't mean I have to disagree with something else. When it comes to evolution, I don't believe that my ancestors were monkeys, apes, gorillas, orang-utans or any of that kind. To even think that my ancestors were once that hairy is inconceivable by me. Let's be honest, we all know that Chinese people barely have (if any) facial hair.
But there are some theories in evolution that I do believe in. I had a conversation with a friend of mine while we were jogging and he pointed out a lot of interesting theories. He asked me this question - Why do you think people are afraid of heights? I told him I don't know. All I know is that when I'm high above the ground and I look down my balls start to giggle. He then said, according to evolution, people back in the day would like climb trees to get food and fall down and would freaking die. So, evolution's theory of survival of the fittest kicked into human society and made us be afraid of heights so we would survive.
So I was like OK that makes sense. Then he asked me another question - Why do you think people are so afraid of public speaking? This time before I could make up a silly answer he said,"Well try to imagine a gathering amongst cavemen in a circle. If you were to publicly speak from your ass, you would embarrass yourself and no woman would want to procreate* with you".
After that sentence I was like God damn this does makes sense. The theory of evolution about monkeys is plain stupid, but the theory about survival of the fittest is probably the greatest theory I've ever heard.
Of course, then I started to imagine about how life would be like if I lived in the stone age. Things didn't seem so bright. Damn right gloomy if you asked me. Back then human society must have been like a pack of lions. The biggest baddest mofos would rule the society. People with thin arms and legs like me (I'm going to the gym now mind you) would be gathering fruits on a daily basis. To add insult, when the tribe chief would come back from a hunting expedition I would have to massage his back. I would end up marrying the ugliest woman in the tribe, everytime I'd try to speak amongst the tribe another person would shout out "hey massage-man, you have no say here. Go massage my goat at the back ok?", I'd be gathering fruits that I won't be able to eat myself, and my children would end up being a masseuse like their dad.
But nope. Evolution kicked in my friends. People became smarter and taller. Computers are everywhere. And I so happen to type pretty darn fast if I may say so myself.
Thanks Darwin :)
*I would have used the word "Get laid"
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
When you know something is wrong...
Remember September 16th, 2008? That was the day that your beloved Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim told you that he was going to topple the government. He mentioned that he was going to overtake the government by getting BN representatives to 'switch sides' and join the PKR. That day was supposed to be the most 'glorious' day in your lives, cause the PKR that you are so valiantly supporting was supposed to be the new governing body of Malaysia.
Some of you spoke without thinking. You said that democracy would win on September 16th. Really? How is making a party that didn't receive the votes from the people a win for democracy? From my understanding, a democracy is a government by the people, for the people. But you said otherwise, you knew in your gut that that was the wrong justice, the wrong democracy, wrong at heart but legal on paper. "The representatives can change their seats if they like! It is legal! Long live PKR!" you say. You fought for your stand even though you knew that that action didn't feel right. Some of you however were not blind, but you chose to be blind. "Aku takleh cakap pape ah. Aku tutup sebelah mate je bende camni. Janji PKR menang". To people who say so forth, I must say I admire your courage to win even though you don't use the right means.
Today, BN has overtaken Perak. Are some of you guys embarrassed? I'd be if I were shouting left and right about September 16. Guess what... you think PKR would have overtaken the government? You have a long way to go my friend.
At least, I can call a duck a duck. I do not agree that BN should have overtaken Perak. There should be a re-election so that the peoples voices can be heard. I scream true democracy. I believe that everyone has equal rights and even though I am writing this note pointlessly on Facebook at least I have the balls to state what is wrong and what is right.
But you can't.
Some of you spoke without thinking. You said that democracy would win on September 16th. Really? How is making a party that didn't receive the votes from the people a win for democracy? From my understanding, a democracy is a government by the people, for the people. But you said otherwise, you knew in your gut that that was the wrong justice, the wrong democracy, wrong at heart but legal on paper. "The representatives can change their seats if they like! It is legal! Long live PKR!" you say. You fought for your stand even though you knew that that action didn't feel right. Some of you however were not blind, but you chose to be blind. "Aku takleh cakap pape ah. Aku tutup sebelah mate je bende camni. Janji PKR menang". To people who say so forth, I must say I admire your courage to win even though you don't use the right means.
Today, BN has overtaken Perak. Are some of you guys embarrassed? I'd be if I were shouting left and right about September 16. Guess what... you think PKR would have overtaken the government? You have a long way to go my friend.
At least, I can call a duck a duck. I do not agree that BN should have overtaken Perak. There should be a re-election so that the peoples voices can be heard. I scream true democracy. I believe that everyone has equal rights and even though I am writing this note pointlessly on Facebook at least I have the balls to state what is wrong and what is right.
But you can't.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I'm not deep...
Lunch was like usual for me today. I'd go downstairs with my buddies to buy lunch from the cafeteria downstairs, and then we'd go back to the 31st floor where my office is located at and eat together in one of the conference rooms. While eating we would talk about random things, most of them interesting, cause let's face it, actuaries are probably the most interesting people on earth.
Today my buddy (a girl), conveyed tips to us guys on how to date girls.
*Music stops*
Backtrack...
What? How to date girls?
First of all, in Malaysian culture there is no such thing as dating a girl. You can be Malay, Chinese, Indian, Iban, Kadazan, Punjabi, White, Black, Brown, Horsey, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or any of them in between and you still wouldn't be going out on a date. Going out on a date isn't in our culture... and the reason being?
There is no reason.
You see, the Malaysian society, despite its various backgrounds, and despite people who can claim that they are from "open societies" like KL and Subang are simply, let's just say - conservative. People may tend to think that what society thinks of them isn't important, but it does bug them to a certain extent even if they deny it. Our culture rears it's ever watchful eyes on its single people. If you go out with another single person from the opposite sex, people assume you are an item.
There are no tryouts. There is no waiting period. There is no "test-drive".
If a guy asks out a girl the guy is basically saying "I like you". And when the girl agrees to go out with the guy it means "I like you too". Before you can even establish a speck of what people would call a relationship, lo and behold you are already in one.
I believe that this culture of non-dating is established from when Malaysians are very very young. Let's face it, when we were in school guys and girls were split up to different sections. Whether the guys would sit in front in class and the girls behind or the girls on the right side of the class and the boys on the left the main solution was simple - keep the boys and girls apart. Minimizing contact between different genders seemed to be one of the main agendas in every school. And what are the results?...
Awkwardness towards the opposite sex.
I think that the combination of our cultural beliefs, social pressure, and our inherent awkwardness is the reason why us Malaysians don't date. If I were to boil those selections down to one major one, I probably would say that the awkwardness part is the main one. What say you?
*Music goes back on*
How to date girls as recommended by my friend:
1) Find restaurants near the girl's house.
2) Pay for all the food and cab rides. (If you are lucky enough to obtain the company of a wonderful (cute, funny, hot) girl, you gotta pay)
3) Make sure she arrives at her home safely. That means making sure she enters her door.
4) Don't make her lose interest by telling her that you don't read books and that you play video games all the time. (she was looking at me when she said that)
Today my buddy (a girl), conveyed tips to us guys on how to date girls.
*Music stops*
Backtrack...
What? How to date girls?
First of all, in Malaysian culture there is no such thing as dating a girl. You can be Malay, Chinese, Indian, Iban, Kadazan, Punjabi, White, Black, Brown, Horsey, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or any of them in between and you still wouldn't be going out on a date. Going out on a date isn't in our culture... and the reason being?
There is no reason.
You see, the Malaysian society, despite its various backgrounds, and despite people who can claim that they are from "open societies" like KL and Subang are simply, let's just say - conservative. People may tend to think that what society thinks of them isn't important, but it does bug them to a certain extent even if they deny it. Our culture rears it's ever watchful eyes on its single people. If you go out with another single person from the opposite sex, people assume you are an item.
There are no tryouts. There is no waiting period. There is no "test-drive".
If a guy asks out a girl the guy is basically saying "I like you". And when the girl agrees to go out with the guy it means "I like you too". Before you can even establish a speck of what people would call a relationship, lo and behold you are already in one.
I believe that this culture of non-dating is established from when Malaysians are very very young. Let's face it, when we were in school guys and girls were split up to different sections. Whether the guys would sit in front in class and the girls behind or the girls on the right side of the class and the boys on the left the main solution was simple - keep the boys and girls apart. Minimizing contact between different genders seemed to be one of the main agendas in every school. And what are the results?...
Awkwardness towards the opposite sex.
I think that the combination of our cultural beliefs, social pressure, and our inherent awkwardness is the reason why us Malaysians don't date. If I were to boil those selections down to one major one, I probably would say that the awkwardness part is the main one. What say you?
*Music goes back on*
How to date girls as recommended by my friend:
1) Find restaurants near the girl's house.
2) Pay for all the food and cab rides. (If you are lucky enough to obtain the company of a wonderful (cute, funny, hot) girl, you gotta pay)
3) Make sure she arrives at her home safely. That means making sure she enters her door.
4) Don't make her lose interest by telling her that you don't read books and that you play video games all the time. (she was looking at me when she said that)
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