To my buddies, whom I assume you guys know who you are, if you decide on getting married please let me know in advance. A year would be greatly sufficient. 6 months would be enough too. I could probably fit it in my schedule 3 months in advance, but no promises.
Problem is, my exams are always in mid May and early November and I need around 3 months to study my craft if I want to pass. So if you guys decide on getting married:
Feb through May = I won't be able to attend
Mid August through November = I won't be able to attend.
Therefore, from now onwards if you guys get married around January or July that would probably be cool. I promise to bring my camera to your weddings and take tonnes of pictures, of which I am sure around 10% of those pics will look nice.
I would greatly appreciate if you guys would get married selang selang hari. Eg on my Bangian friends: Ijai kau kahwin on hari Sabtu. Jamil hari Ahad. Next week plak Dazu ngan Abe kahwin. Ikram, Zool, Ise, Fendi, Ikmar etc etc all within two weeks time.
This posting is just a shout out, please ladies do not pressure the guys to get married. Mahal tau hantaran tu. Kesian kitorang. Haha.
Ps: Sorry ah Anas ngan Apai tak sempat pergi wedding korang. Nanti aku kembali aku dapatkan korang hadiah cool.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Screamers
I'm watching Serena Williams play against Elena Dementeiva in the Australian Open, and...
God damn these woman tennis players scream so loud when they play. Could you imagine having sex with one of these girls? They would scream so loud that the neighbors would wake up. Wait a second... that has already happened. Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias got a complain from their 'neighbors' in a hotel they were staying at for having "loud sex". I can't imagine if it was cause of Enrique Iglesias' giant mole at the time or his greasy face. *who are we kidding? of course its the mole
Try to imagine having that mole right up in your face. Yessssss, right in front of your eyeball. Pleasant isn't it?
However, the ultimate screamer award does not go to Serena or Elena, but it goes to... the one... the only... Maria Sharapova!
Ps: The consolation winner goes to the Chinese dude in my gym who screams every time he pumps iron.
God damn these woman tennis players scream so loud when they play. Could you imagine having sex with one of these girls? They would scream so loud that the neighbors would wake up. Wait a second... that has already happened. Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias got a complain from their 'neighbors' in a hotel they were staying at for having "loud sex". I can't imagine if it was cause of Enrique Iglesias' giant mole at the time or his greasy face. *who are we kidding? of course its the mole
Try to imagine having that mole right up in your face. Yessssss, right in front of your eyeball. Pleasant isn't it?
However, the ultimate screamer award does not go to Serena or Elena, but it goes to... the one... the only... Maria Sharapova!
Ps: The consolation winner goes to the Chinese dude in my gym who screams every time he pumps iron.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The conversation
She meets a guy at a bar. He seems interested in her. They talk. They chug a few beers. Their friends are singing at the karaoke box in front of them.
She meets me the next day. Tells me about the guy. The guy is tall. He looks only around in his early thirties but he is indeed in his early forties. The guy mentions a few things to attract her. He tells her that tall girls are a definite plus plus in his books. She tells me that the guy notices that she has a wedding ring in her left hand. The guy apologizes not knowing.
She tells me that the guy is very nice. Although, she does not know why the guy is still single at the age of his early forties. "Some people don't want to get married I guess", I said to her. She says that is quite common these days.
The guy was a friend to a friend. He seems kind of funny and got along well with everyone. They all had a good night together drinking and singing. The blistering cold did not stop them. Nothing could have stopped their singing troupe that night.
After all the description and lengthy conversation about the guy, she says she has some pictures of the encounter. She shows me some pictures in her camera.
The guy is black.
***
The above story is fiction and affects nobody I know.
She meets me the next day. Tells me about the guy. The guy is tall. He looks only around in his early thirties but he is indeed in his early forties. The guy mentions a few things to attract her. He tells her that tall girls are a definite plus plus in his books. She tells me that the guy notices that she has a wedding ring in her left hand. The guy apologizes not knowing.
She tells me that the guy is very nice. Although, she does not know why the guy is still single at the age of his early forties. "Some people don't want to get married I guess", I said to her. She says that is quite common these days.
The guy was a friend to a friend. He seems kind of funny and got along well with everyone. They all had a good night together drinking and singing. The blistering cold did not stop them. Nothing could have stopped their singing troupe that night.
After all the description and lengthy conversation about the guy, she says she has some pictures of the encounter. She shows me some pictures in her camera.
The guy is black.
***
The above story is fiction and affects nobody I know.
The Master Plan
The Master Plan
This is the absofuckinglutely best plan I have ever created. Will I follow it? I don't know. I haven't followed my other master plans before this.
This plan was created by AJ and can be used by anyone. It's just for fun though.
This is the absofuckinglutely best plan I have ever created. Will I follow it? I don't know. I haven't followed my other master plans before this.
This plan was created by AJ and can be used by anyone. It's just for fun though.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Kong Xi Fa Cai!
Kong Xi Fa Cai to my grandma, aunties and uncles, dad and brothers, and especially to my mom!
I know my mom doesn't read this blog, but hopefully she'll cover my ass for the angpow first before I pay her back.
Chinese New Year is a special celebration for my family and me... equally as big as Hari Raya at heart. I have made my wife swear an oath that the Chinese New Year celebration be celebrated for our generations and generations to come.
May all of you live prosperously! Kong Xi Fa Cai! Si nien kuai le!
AJ
I know my mom doesn't read this blog, but hopefully she'll cover my ass for the angpow first before I pay her back.
Chinese New Year is a special celebration for my family and me... equally as big as Hari Raya at heart. I have made my wife swear an oath that the Chinese New Year celebration be celebrated for our generations and generations to come.
May all of you live prosperously! Kong Xi Fa Cai! Si nien kuai le!
AJ
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The other side
One of my buddies asked me after a skinny blonde chick with enormous boobies, or should I say bigoobs passed us by as we were walking down the street... which one is hotter - blondes or brunettes?
By the way he was asking right after a blonde chick had just passed by, I knew that his answer to his own question was blonde. I'm sure he was expecting me to say blonde as well, wanting my affirmation of the widely publicized impression that blondes were indeed hotter, wilder, crazier, sexier, more tanned and all the good stuff put together compared to brunettes... but sadly no, I had to disagree with the preconception I had to his question, I have always had a thing for brunettes.
"I'm into brunettes man"
"What?? Why?? Dude blondes are like Lamborghinis. Brunettes are like.... that car over there" *pointing to a shabby Honda covered in snow.
"I know man. I'm probably the only South East Asian who prefers brunettes. You'd always expect people to like things that are unique/rare to their common world."
******
As mentioned above, I believe that most people would prefer things that are not common. For example, in Malaysia guys like white skinned girls. The whiter the better. *All the brown girls are frowning now*. But at where I am now, a place where everyone is pretty much too white, every guy is trying to nail a brown chick. Hence the reason why all the girls are so crazy about frequenting the tanning saloon.
Another example, people here love the sunshine. Forget how hot it is outside, the people look at the rays of sun and they smile, splash some sunscreen on themselves and start running on their flip flops towards the field. In Malaysia? You'd see the girls, and some arboks (kawan Zul haha) using an umbrella to shield their white pastel looking skin.
Liking the rare is common.
But not me. Nope. I've always liked brown skinned ladies. Brunettes? Yummy. Brown eyes? I don't mind. Banyak bulu tangan? Maybe not.
AJ does not follow the herd.
By the way he was asking right after a blonde chick had just passed by, I knew that his answer to his own question was blonde. I'm sure he was expecting me to say blonde as well, wanting my affirmation of the widely publicized impression that blondes were indeed hotter, wilder, crazier, sexier, more tanned and all the good stuff put together compared to brunettes... but sadly no, I had to disagree with the preconception I had to his question, I have always had a thing for brunettes.
"I'm into brunettes man"
"What?? Why?? Dude blondes are like Lamborghinis. Brunettes are like.... that car over there" *pointing to a shabby Honda covered in snow.
"I know man. I'm probably the only South East Asian who prefers brunettes. You'd always expect people to like things that are unique/rare to their common world."
******
As mentioned above, I believe that most people would prefer things that are not common. For example, in Malaysia guys like white skinned girls. The whiter the better. *All the brown girls are frowning now*. But at where I am now, a place where everyone is pretty much too white, every guy is trying to nail a brown chick. Hence the reason why all the girls are so crazy about frequenting the tanning saloon.
Another example, people here love the sunshine. Forget how hot it is outside, the people look at the rays of sun and they smile, splash some sunscreen on themselves and start running on their flip flops towards the field. In Malaysia? You'd see the girls, and some arboks (kawan Zul haha) using an umbrella to shield their white pastel looking skin.
Liking the rare is common.
But not me. Nope. I've always liked brown skinned ladies. Brunettes? Yummy. Brown eyes? I don't mind. Banyak bulu tangan? Maybe not.
AJ does not follow the herd.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Survey
For Adilla... this is a way to say that anything is possible with Adam J. lol
1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda (5 characteristics of your dream girl/guy):
- Doesn't talk so much
- Fixes me food
- Is outgoing enough to travel and go sightseeing with me
- Is supportive of my gaming (doesn't scold me when I am banishing monsters)
- Nice booty
2. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup (5 characteristics that you have never liked in girl/guy):
- Religious chicks. I'm afraid they'll notice how not so religious I am
- Fat chicks... large is still ok
- Dirty chicks. Nasty in bed is commended. Nasty smelly hair and feet are not
- Strong jaw chicks. "Baby if you got a jaw like robocop... I ain't sold"
- PMS chicks. This one needs no explanation
3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Minati (5 feelings that you have when you are out with the one you admire):
- Horny
- ......
- ......
- ......
- ......
4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda (5 places that you want to travel to with your loved one):
- Spain
- Egypt
- Dubai
- Japan
- Bangi
5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia (5 special things that you will give to your loved one):
- I'll tell you one thing Miss Lucky Lady who goes out with me... I will bring you to shopping heaven and I will teman you shopping for hours and hours and carry your bags. Oooo yeahhhh.
- Flowers
- Chocolates
- Handbags times infinity
- Clothes clothes and more clothes
6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda (5 songs that you will sing to your partner):
-Tangan yang mengapai. It goes like this:
Merenungi tubuh yang tak bermaya
dan mengusapi wajah penuh luka
Malang yang menimpanya
kini menghantui kita
apalah dosa hingga kau didera
ketika kau memerlukan kasih serta belaian
kau menjadi sasaran
kezaliman....
- Kau ilhamku by Mambai
- Say a little prayer for you from the OST of My Best Friends Wedding
- Shake that ass by Eminem ft Nate Dogg
- You Give me Something by James Morrison
1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda (5 characteristics of your dream girl/guy):
- Doesn't talk so much
- Fixes me food
- Is outgoing enough to travel and go sightseeing with me
- Is supportive of my gaming (doesn't scold me when I am banishing monsters)
- Nice booty
2. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup (5 characteristics that you have never liked in girl/guy):
- Religious chicks. I'm afraid they'll notice how not so religious I am
- Fat chicks... large is still ok
- Dirty chicks. Nasty in bed is commended. Nasty smelly hair and feet are not
- Strong jaw chicks. "Baby if you got a jaw like robocop... I ain't sold"
- PMS chicks. This one needs no explanation
3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Minati (5 feelings that you have when you are out with the one you admire):
- Horny
- ......
- ......
- ......
- ......
4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda (5 places that you want to travel to with your loved one):
- Spain
- Egypt
- Dubai
- Japan
- Bangi
5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia (5 special things that you will give to your loved one):
- I'll tell you one thing Miss Lucky Lady who goes out with me... I will bring you to shopping heaven and I will teman you shopping for hours and hours and carry your bags. Oooo yeahhhh.
- Flowers
- Chocolates
- Handbags times infinity
- Clothes clothes and more clothes
6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda (5 songs that you will sing to your partner):
-Tangan yang mengapai. It goes like this:
Merenungi tubuh yang tak bermaya
dan mengusapi wajah penuh luka
Malang yang menimpanya
kini menghantui kita
apalah dosa hingga kau didera
ketika kau memerlukan kasih serta belaian
kau menjadi sasaran
kezaliman....
- Kau ilhamku by Mambai
- Say a little prayer for you from the OST of My Best Friends Wedding
- Shake that ass by Eminem ft Nate Dogg
- You Give me Something by James Morrison
Friday, January 2, 2009
A thousand excuses
I've been keeping these thoughts in my mind for awhile now. I guess this is the perfect time to let them out since my actuarial exam results have been posted a few hours ago.
Reasons on why I failed my exam:
1. I didn't study hard enough.
2. I'm not stupid, I'm just underachieving.
3. I just got married, I'm still in the honeymoon phase.
4. The exams are really really hard.
5. They only pass around 40% of exam takers. And the people who take these exams are the math whizzes back in university and high school.
6. The material I use for studying is insufficient.
7. I'm not studying the right material.
8. Trying to balance work and studying isn't working for me.
9. The Society of Actuaries is filled with evil smart people who get a 'kick' when people get their questions wrong.
10. I ter'toceng' the night before the exam so I was exhausted while taking it.
11. They don't let me drink my diet coke during examination.
12. The people who set my calculator during the exam changed my formula setting from "AOS" to some other "Chain Rule" thingamajig.
...........................
Hahahhaha. Fuck that! You know why? Cause I PASSED. Fuck you SOA. I passed your dumb exam. I'm going to burn those fucking study materials. God. I hate you exam 4. So fucking long you son of a bitch mutherfucking exam.
By the way, I already failed this exam twice before. So I have every fucking right to gloat right now. I work hard and if you people saw how much I studied you would agree that I deserved to pass this time. Urghhhh.
Ok. I'm calm now....
Reasons on why I failed my exam:
1. I didn't study hard enough.
2. I'm not stupid, I'm just underachieving.
3. I just got married, I'm still in the honeymoon phase.
4. The exams are really really hard.
5. They only pass around 40% of exam takers. And the people who take these exams are the math whizzes back in university and high school.
6. The material I use for studying is insufficient.
7. I'm not studying the right material.
8. Trying to balance work and studying isn't working for me.
9. The Society of Actuaries is filled with evil smart people who get a 'kick' when people get their questions wrong.
10. I ter'toceng' the night before the exam so I was exhausted while taking it.
11. They don't let me drink my diet coke during examination.
12. The people who set my calculator during the exam changed my formula setting from "AOS" to some other "Chain Rule" thingamajig.
...........................
Hahahhaha. Fuck that! You know why? Cause I PASSED. Fuck you SOA. I passed your dumb exam. I'm going to burn those fucking study materials. God. I hate you exam 4. So fucking long you son of a bitch mutherfucking exam.
By the way, I already failed this exam twice before. So I have every fucking right to gloat right now. I work hard and if you people saw how much I studied you would agree that I deserved to pass this time. Urghhhh.
Ok. I'm calm now....
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