Shopaholic

Women are like a powerhouse machine when they go shopping. I kid you not. They don't get tired of all the walking, all the inner decision making, lack of sleep, or anything else when they go shopping. They are like a guided missile with cluster bombs. Once the target is locked, they would spread out their shopping list, explode themselves and knock those targets down one by one.

In my life, I've seen women be enthusiastic about a lot of things. Some of them enjoy photography, some enjoy music, some enjoy writing in their blogs, but none of the enthusiasm involved in their lives are as powerful as to when they are shopping. Remember the fight or flight response that we learnt in form 4 or 5 biology? In the normal case we should invoke that response when we see a huge animal getting ready to devour us, or perhaps when some small-fry tries to take us on and we know we can beat the crap out of him. The fight or flight response on women isn't triggered by animals though, it is triggered when they set their foot in the shopping mall.

The shopping mall is the arena of all arenas. It is where the weak perish and the strong reign mighty. Darwin's theory of natural selection never roared any louder then at the shopping malls. Women who are normally docile, good-natured, slow walkers suddenly turn into vicious predators ready to leap boundaries to get their 30% discount.

A heightened response, adrenaline rush, faster eye-movement and greater sense of awareness are induced when a woman goes to the shopping mall. Pushing, grabbing, stinky eyeing suddenly become expected in these situations. Playing fair never really was a concern.

Now the problem is, when a lady is so hyped up at the shopping mall, ready to attack under the belt to get what they what.... what happens when they don't?

Delusion of grandeur

I think Jake reads my blog. Because today he gave me a freaking ass whopping routine through the gym equipments. I'm not talking about that lame ass white people kind of ass whopping where the parents ground their children in their rooms. This was more like the ass whopping kind of stuff where a person gets raped by a bunch of leprechauns.

I am hurting. And I am pretty confident that my whole body will continue to hurt tomorrow.

I want it!

So Adam... tell me the reason why you're here. What are your goals?

Jake, I have only one goal...

I want a six pack...

*In my mind: Yeah you heard me buster. I don't care if you're a gym expert and you look at me and it seems that cause I'm tall and that I'm Asian or that my body fat percentage is off the charts that I was going to demand something other than the finest six pack my body truly deserves.

I bet Jake didn't see that coming did he. When I said I wanted a six pack... that was absofuckinglutely what I wanted. I don't want health. I don't want to live longer. I don't want to be in shape. I don't care if its the inside that matters or the outside or vice versa loop it around bottom to top. All I want from my gym experience this time is a nicely cut six pack between my chest and my south pole.

That's pretty much what the conversation revolved around with Jake from World Gym. Yep, I joined the gym. It costs 100 buckaroos to sign up, and 50 bucks for the monthly fee. Remember when I was in college and I'd always tell my friends (including perhaps you the reader) that I would get a six pack?

And remember the time when I did actually have a six pack? I'm sure you don't. Because I never did. I am tired of not having a six pack. I want it..... I wanit I wanit I wanit.

This time around there are no more games. No more boohoo you are tired Adam of jogging 30 minutes and you don't want to do anymore sit ups. This time you will suck it up. By God, if I have to cut down my calories and workout tonnes of hours I will get there. I will....

Investing in yourself

Rentetan hari ini adalah untuk sahabatku Adzwan atau name manjanya Dezerk. Coretan ini adalah buktiku kepadanya bahawa aku memang telah mendapat gred 1A dalam subjek Bahasa Melayu dalam Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). Walaupun tulisanku ini tidaklah berpuitis, dan darah yang terkandung dalam badan kerdil aku ini kurang daripada 30% darah Melayu, aku tetap merasa bahawa penguasaan aku dalam Bahasa Melayu tidaklah selemah yang disangka.

Saudara Adzwan telah mengenali diriku ini sejak zaman pelajaran tinggi. Dia mungkin tidak sedar (dia sememangnya sedar) bahawa aku datang dari Bandar Baru Bangi. Budak-budak yang berkeliaran dekat Sekolah Menengah Jalan 3 tidak menggunakan bahasa orang "putih" dalam kehidupan seharian mereka. Aku adalah hasil daripada produk budak Jalan Tiga. Semua rakan-rakan aku termasuklah aku tidak menggunakan bahasa orang "putih" dekat sekolah ataupun taman permainan. Bahkan, kami tidak menggunakan penyambung kata seperti "so" mahupun "and" dalam bahasa Melayu seharian kami.

Kata orang, bila kita kehilangan apa yang dah sedia ada depan mata, barulah kita menghargai benda tersebut. Sememangnya aku rindu akan diriku dahulu yang mampu menulis karangan bahasa tanah air beratus perkataan tanpa terhenti sementara untuk menyemak semula alunan ayat. Tulisanku sekarang tidak sekemas dulu. Dulu aku mampu menyelit penjodoh bilangan, imbuhan yang berpatutan, prosa klasik, dan juga peribahasa yang unik dalam ayat-ayat karangan.

Aku terasa agak siksa nak buktikan penguasaan Bahasa Melayu. Arghhh aku mengantuk.... arghhhh. Aku tidur dahulu.....

Fantasy Football

Hari ni aku berjaya memancung Shuhud Zakaria dalam fantasy football. 99 points for the win. Yeahhhh

Adoi

A few years ago my friend Manluq pasted an article he got from some lady that was studying in UK. I've tried to search for that article, but I couldn't find it. If I do find it, I'll paste it here so that the reader can make up his own mind on the message conveyed. However, do hear me out too.

Conclusion of the article:
1. There are two types of Malays
2. KL Malays and Non KL Malays
3. KL Malays can speak English and are more educated
4. Non KL Malays are like the kampung people

My thoughts:
Despite how well-written the article was, I can't help on noticing how divisive the points outlined were. This is precisely the kind of attitude that I hate about higher educated, city people. The attitude that says to themselves, I am better than you. The perasan bagus attitude. The inner thought that they think that because they come from the city, name macam dah mat salleh sikit, datang dpd keluarga kaya, kat rumah sebok cakap bahasa omputih, dapat pergi university overseas, that they have the birthright to chop a race up and split them into little pieces just because they don't think the same way.

I know, some of you will start saying "Ala, even kat US pun diorang ade split their people up. Tu ade redneck. Sini ade orang dari ghetto. Orang hitam. Orang asian.". First of all, kau ni memang dungu terlalu pandang tinggi kat Mat Salleh. Diorang pun same je cam kite, jangan jadi cam kura-kura masukkan kepala dalam badan (kalau gemuk tu lainlah. tu leher hilang. lain sikit the case) . Secondly, yes they do that sometimes, but never in a well written article from a person who's had a good educated background and high social upbringing. If someone from lets say Harvard, wrote the same article like this lady wrote, memang dah mampos that person would get criticized left and right from that person's peers. If say, a famous politician wrote this, that would be the end of his/her political career as that person would be labeled a racist.

I'm going to be a little biased here. If that person were say from the ghetto, dari lurah lurah celuk kampung Borneo pakai cawat stiap hari sumpit arnab untuk cari makan, and then suddenly he becomes a famous person and starts labeling his race, then that's fine. At least he has gone through the struggle, the hardships, the difficulties of the status quo set by these so called "KL Malays". For this same reason, I think when Chris Rock said that there are two types of black people; (1) black people (2) niggers, it is totally fine.

The so-called non KL Malays in this article refers to the kampung Malays that live outside city. I'm assuming that these people don't come from a rich family, can't speak English to save their lives, and their parents' incomes are from the lower class tier to the lower second class tier. Now the question I would ask the reader is - is it fair to label these people "non KL Malays" because there is a glass ceiling? Kampung people do not have the opportunities given to people from the city. Some of them can't afford extra clothes to go to school, apatah lagi expensive study material like the "Buku Pelangi" stuff we had to study for SPM. Their parents and teachers in school barely know English themselves yet you expect them to be a verbose in English son of a bitch.

This article isn't fair. It isn't fair to people who work hard and struggle to make ends meet. Personally, I felt that the article was condescending and ignorant. And coming from a lady who is a so-called KL Malay, it is just adding spit after the slap.

I'm drawing up my own conclusions on this girl even though I don't even know her. But I'm sure that this girl doesn't even know anyone outside KL. Has she been outside KL? Pernah ke die hidup under different conditions besides the easy-going life she has been going through in the city? Ever been to the kampung side? Does she know how poor the kampung people really are? Ni mesti die slalu kene kacau ngan rempit sampai die tulis macam ni.

Another posting for the day

I had to write another post. Just because I'm angered right now, angered that some stupid Chinese politician doesn't know when to shut his mouth. To state a fact, I am half-Chinese and half-Malay so I can say any shit I want against any race in Malaysia and none of the races have the right to say that I am a racist. You get more percentage of different races in your blood first then you can come to me and talk crap.

So here's the deal. I read in Jeff Ooi's blog that he thought that Malaysia had Islamic political brainwashing going on just because he goes to Abu Dhabi and the hotels over there serve P O R K. He says, and I am paraphrasing for him, something that goes like - Hey if there is a country in the Middle East serving pork at their lavish hotel, how come we don't serve pork at our hotels here? There must be something wrong with the Islamic practice back in Malaysia.

Are you really that ignorant YB Jeff Ooi? How dumb are you? Do you know how disgusting Muslims think pork are? If pork just touches a Muslims food or utensils, trust me there is no freaking way that that person would eat any dish that he has in front of him. I've seen so many Muslims drink, tuang arak sebotol dua, kita minum dulu!, yet I have never, never ever ever seen a Muslim eating pork.

Even from an economic standpoint no hotel in Malaysia would be dumb enough to serve pork. You know why? Cause Muslims who know that a particular hotel that serves pork would rather go eat at another place. Food is universal, customers for food are also universal, why would any hotel reduce their market share by adding a dish that could reduce their customers? The food chains such as McDonalds also doesn't serve pork in Malaysia. Likewise, they also don't sell beef in India. It is pretty much just logical sense to accept this.

Why do you even harp on such an issue YB Jeff Ooi? Is it not possible for you to eat pork anywhere in Kuala Lumpur? No pork in Malaysia? Bacon not here nor there?

I seriously don't understand the reasoning of porky Jeff here bringing up this issue. There are things you can mention freely, and there are also things that you should just keep to yourself. There is no right or wrong in religious beliefs. Toleration is the key, yet being an MP, Jeff can't even fathom this.

On a lighter note though, my friend Mike says that pork is the best meat in the world. And, I also don't have any problems with my friends eating pork in front of me. I don't have any problems what so ever. It's just when I see a political dimwit like Jeff writing in such an ignorant way promoting racial tension, my blood gets a little boiled.

I am lame

I had a conversation with little Awil (anak bongsu Kak Nana and Abang Fikri) about mathematics. He was telling me that in his math class he was already learning the square roots of numbers, which in all honesty I thought was crazy brilliant considering he's only nine years old. Awil was placed in the more advanced math class compared to his peers; mainly because he is Malaysian and we all know that Malaysians are good in math. (Haha, brape ramai Malaysians fail actuarial exams).

Even though Abang Fikri and Kak Nana are right-handed, Awil and his brother Faiz are both left-handed. I'm sure most people already know this and it seems that I'm stating the obvious, but left-handed people use most of their right brain cause their reasoning side is the more dominant side in their brain hemisphere. One could say that their reasoning capabilities might be better than us right-handed people cause they use the reasoning portion of their brains more. However, just to not make those lefties think that they're better than us average righties, let me say here that I heard that left-handed people die earlier than right-handed people. Must be all the blood that pumps to their hearts cause they use their left-hands so much. Or maybe, just maybe they get infections cause they eat with their left hands.

Anyways, so I figured, "hey ape lagi, mari kite menguji kanak kanak ni". "Awil, what's the square root of 25?"

Awil pun jawablah:

25 = 5 * 5

"five"

Aku pun membalas

"bagus bagus"

And then aku pun sambung

"So whats the other number of the square root of 25?"

"????"

It never occurred to me that this kid is still nine years old. How could he have learned negative numbers at that point ;)

Pawned you Awil. I so pawned you. Hahahaha.

Barack McCain and John Obama

Obama won. McCain lost.

That's what happens when you select someone as shallow as Palin as your running mate. No right-minded citizen would let a 72 year old man who is - hopefully not - inches away from the death bed become president knowing that his second in command is the female equivalent to George Bush Jr.

Another reason why McCain lost was because his campaign used too many dirty tactics that the American people took as negative. McCain's campaign accused Obama of palling with terrorists. They accused him of being anti-Semitic. They accused him of being a racist. In one of the town hall meetings that the McCain campaign was holding, one of McCain's supporters even accused Obama of being an Arab. Haha.

What I found more amusing was the fact that there are actually so many people who believed that the allegations that the McCain campaign were throwing at Obama were true. Seriously, come on. Does anyone even really believe that Obama is a Marxist? Just because he wants to give a tax break to people who earn 200,000 usd and below, they accuse him of spreading the wealth. Heck, you can accuse him of being a Marxist all you want folks, just make sure that I get that tax break while your at it.

Because the presidential path to the white house is based on electoral votes (people who are in more educated, wealthier places are given more leverage) and not popular votes (individual votes), Obama had the job application in the bag.

What sucks is that a great American hero like John McCain had to be collateral damage for Obama to be president.

Mr President

I just got back from Grant Park, Chicago, where Obama received his presidency. It's kinda late right now, I'll speak more about it in later postings.